Faith over Fear

As I sit down to write this, I have to admit I’m guilty of doing a poor job of blogging. While it’s a good way to stay connected to readers when you’ve recently released a book, it clearly became harder for me to continue the habit as the years rolled on. New projects have demanded my attention and blogging fell by the wayside. Something happened last week that prompted me to sit down and resurrect the practice. My hope is it can serve as an encouragement to others too.

In the past five years I have completed two young adult contemporary Christian novels and I am currently in the process of searching for a publisher. This is the aspect of writing that is the hardest for me. As a person who has always struggled with feeling of unworthiness, rejection tends to knock me down. Much of this feeling stems from the fact that I was discouraged from pursuing a writing career by someone who was trying to spare me the pain of disappointment. While I understand the intention was good, it still planted a deep- seated fear in my heart that my writing wasn’t good enough.

I received the first rejection for one of my manuscripts from a publisher last week and that feeling of unworthiness reared its ugly head. In times like this it becomes very hard for me to push through and continue to put myself out there. The book I have written is about a teenage boy who suffers from anxiety, a topic many teens today can relate to. My target audience is teens who have a faith background, but are still struggling to find their place in this world. The teen years are difficult under the best of circumstances. To my mind they become even more so when these young souls fail to grasp the truth that they have a Savior who has already determined their worth is invaluable to Him. It’s a truth that is hard to stay grounded in without the support of others. I needed that same support last week and I am grateful that I received it. I wanted to use this space to encourage other believers to seek out people who can serve as a steadfast reminder of faithfulness for them when doubts assail them.

In my novel, a 15-year-old pastor’s son is forced into a circumstance that he sees as punishment when his parents leave him behind to live with his aunt after they accept jobs as missionaries in Thailand. Despite the fact that David was raised with a solid Christian foundation, his anxiety still gets the better of him and he struggles to fit in. He questions God because he is focused on his own fears and insecurities. I was doing the same last week. I have a faithful friend who I met when I was fortunate enough to travel to the Dominican Republic for mission work. He often reaches out to me to ask how I am and to tell me he’s been praying for me. I shared my doubts about my writing with him and his responses was something that touched my heart.

I tell myself that I believe if it is God’s will my book will find the right home, but I was obviously doubting the truth of that. My friend did not hesitate for a moment to encourage me and make a clear statement of faith that the Lord would provide. He stood in the gap for me while I struggled with my doubt and reminded me that God opens doors for us when we knock and that he would be knocking along with me. I believe with all of my heart that the gifts we have in this life come from our Creator. If God has given me this gift, he will be faithful in helping me use it in His time. Just as the character in my book, I need to focus on trusting the one who wants to work all things together for my good, instead of staying fixated on my fears. I am grateful to have a community of faithful people to pick me up when I stumble and lose my way. My prayer is that if you have not found a group of followers who do the same for you yet, the Lord will guide you to them because together we are better.